THE MEETING

Every so often, the management team at a restaurant have a little chat and decide that things need to change. Service is slipping and some issues need to be addressed. Then there is the inevitable note tacked up next to the schedule. Mandatory meeting, everyone must attend. It always sounds like a life or death situation, and management will remind you so every day leading up to the meeting. You better get a damn good excuse ready ahead of time for not showing up. I have yet to see someone fired for not attending, but you will get the worst shifts ever until they grow up and forgive you.

The meeting will always be scheduled on your only day off. This is a fact. Some places will pay you while they waste your time. Others will not. The same issues will always be addressed at each one.

"I'd really like to emphasize the importance of being on time, and working together as a team. We have some new menu items that I think we should go over." Today's even involved a test. Yes that's right, a written test in which all 15 or so front of house employees were sat at separate tables and handed a test face down. I found this incredibly humorous. In fact, I drew several pictures on the back when I was finished. I guess nothing changes since elementary school.

The one and only reason why people attend is after an hour or so of their rambling, out of courtesy, they ask if we have anything to say. Of course we do, we complain about the job constantly. I watch as my GM braces himself for the attack. After a five minute flurry of "you need less people on the floor on Saturday's"; hands are still in the air waiting to be called on. People are busting out of their seats ready to tell them to order more martini glasses so we don't have to serve martinis in wine glasses.

But, instead the GM interrupts. "Well, I think we're done here. I'm going to wrap this up. Thanks for coming in on your day off."