THE FANTASY

After slaving away at a job you hate for years, barely making ends meet, you start to dream of the day that you can leave, and never return. As a woman screams at you about how long her food is taking while her child throws the complimentary cheerios at you, there is a happy place you can visit. I'm sure every person has the "I quit" fantasy dream. Mine used to go a little something like this.

First, It' dinner rush. We're on a two hour wait and the managers forgot to order everything so we're running out of items by the minute. The 86 bell is ringing off the hook and the head chef on the back of the line is screaming "SANCTUARY!"

I ring the bell, stand on the counters, and announce to the chefs that I am quitting, if anyone would like to join me now is the time. Then I proceed into the dining room with my army of angry workers. I now announce to the guests that I will be quitting this job, but before I go I would like to share a list of things every customer should know so that other servers might not hate their jobs quites so much.