TATER'S SALAD

“I need to find somewhere to put a walk in 8 -top,” Our host said with a frustrated look on his face towards the end of a busy lunch shift. I had just picked up some extra tables, but they were easy two tops and I never turn down the chance to pick up another table if I can help it.

“Put them in the alcove and I’ll take it.” That was my first mistake. Not looking at the 8 top clientele.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah just seat them and I’ll take it.” Second mistake. The uneasy sound in his voice should have given me a hint. But all I could see at the time was dollar signs, and was completely oblivious to the red flags. I got my first glance at them. The father had a trucker hat on. The mother was flagging me down before I could even make my way to the table. The rest of their party wasn't even sitting yet.

"Are you our waitress? Can you put the kid's order in right now?" I should have said, "No, I'm not but if you have a seat at the table I'll go find her." Instead I took the kids order, told her it would be a few minutes for me to put it in and get bread and drinks for the table, and took off running. At this point I was thinking, maybe the kids are just antsy, and if I make them happy she will leave me a good tip.

I returned a few minutes later and she informs me that they are ready to order. Wonderful. Let's get this over and done with. She orders two soups, one soup and salad combo, and one dish of pasta to share. A grand total of 30$ plus the kids food and drinks. For eight people. Not good.
The kid's meals were ready in all of 5 minutes, as were the salads. As I was refilling drinks, I heard the mother say to her youngest son "Tater, honey you want some salad?"

Tater? You call your kid tater?

I knew at that point all hope of a tip was out of the picture. Sure enough when the bill came, (58$) I got five bucks. Had I seen it before they left, I would have chased them out the door and directed them towards the nearest McDonald's. No tots, but the fries are on the dollar menu.